dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
