White coat. Heels.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
