found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
