I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
It's Friday. Sex?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You are a genius and a whore.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
