dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
