We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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