doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
