I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
