dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
