I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
