first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
They have beer where we have blood.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
