we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
