In the future we'll all be gay
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Someone came in the potted fern
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize