Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
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