its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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