guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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