Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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