First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
