So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
