if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
