i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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