i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
