Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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