Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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