dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
