One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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