If that was your dad, he is hot
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
