That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
