there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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