is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
