if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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