I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
