I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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