You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
