WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
