Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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