if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
