this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
