jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
