The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You may now shotgun with the bride
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
