and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
