Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
