id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
we should paint friendship bongs
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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