my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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