I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
