my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
