She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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