i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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