The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Houston, we have a blender
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
