i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
