Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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