the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
