What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
