I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
only you would photoshop your dick
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
