She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
