Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
