where am i from again
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
how does that bad decision feel?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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