ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
