ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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