A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
