this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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