I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
