Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
