My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
