i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
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