My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
