So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize