like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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