I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
